Mariposa

My daughter was 15 and struggling with Anorexia.  The struggle was not only daily but hourly and minute by minute. We were worried, tired, anxious and fearful of the future. Just after her 15th birthday we made the decision that to save her life we would have to put her into a clinic for girls with eating disorders. We chose Remuda in Wickenburg, Arizona.

 

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As the weeks approached for us to fly out to Arizona my daughter’s heart and mind seemed heavier than I had ever seen her. This demonic – and yes it is demonic – claw of darkness had robbed my daughter’s health, strength, joy, peace, future and hope. It had gotten so bad that I began to plan my daughter’s funeral.

This once vibrant blue-eyed daughter of mine was a dynamic horse rider, tennis player, musician and brilliant student with a smile that brought heaven on earth. It grieved me to see her alone in her room, coloring, alone and withdrawn. My heart was breaking into little pieces and there was nothing that I could do about it but go to the only place that I could to find hope – the Lord’s feet.

I went to my bedroom and told God that I needed a Word on the situation – a Word to give us the hope and gumption to continue believing. I did as I have done thousands of times – I sat and waited. It wasn’t long before I knew that God was speaking

“She will have joy when she comes out of this situation. She will soar like a butterfly with great joy.”

It was then that I knew she would not only live, but that she would flourish. I didn’t know how long it would take or all the heart wrenching battles we were about to face – I only knew that she would make it and in the end there would be joy.

That afternoon I shared with my daughter what God had spoken to me. She silently nodded. All that she knew was that in just a matter of days she would be going to a place for 3 months that she didn’t want to be and she had no control over the situation. It was July 4th and we were on the plane to Phoenix. By the time we arrived it was late in the afternoon. We were met at the airport by a staff driver from Remuda and were soon whisked away in a large van for the long 3 hour drive through the desert to Wickenburg. Looking at Alexandria she was limp as a rag – tired, broken, defeated and hopeless. I pulled her tiny body close to mine. The only words that I could speak were:

“You will come out of this like a butterfly.”

Lightning crashed through the dark sky. In the distance fireworks were being shot off. Families and towns celebrating while we were mourning. It began to rain torrentially – the true reflection of our darkest moods.  Finally we  pulled up to the clinic – a large network of lovely homes set among tall cactus. The rain was pouring so heavily we could barely make out the outlines of the various buildings. “These are the homes the girls live in. There are several different ones with various names.” the driver pointed out.

“Which one will Alex be staying at?” I asked.  She pulled up to a beautiful pink home –

“This one – it’s called Mariposa.”

It was at that moment I knew God was still in control for “mariposa” is the spanish word for “butterfly.” God kept His promise.

In the end she did soar. She is now 20 years old and has all the joy a  young heart could ever hold – the joy that only God  can bring.

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