How to Grow in Confidence

Brianna called me early in the morning.  She was crying and feeling very broken.  Although she is beautiful, 25 and very talented she was being bullied at work. Yes, adults get bullied also. She called because her boss at work was making her life miserable. Brianna said that her boss demeaned and intimidated her. 

“I feel so worthless, so purposeless. I feel like I can’t do anything right. It seems like my boss always finds ways to make my life miserable.”

I began to pray for Brianna and speak Power Verses over her. Then I told her what I have told many others who have been bullied.

“You will now see yourself very tall. You are 16′ tall. You are so tall that each time you walk into a room you have to duck your head just to get in. You see your boss and she is so small you can barely see her. She is the size of an ant. You have to look down on her because she is so small and you are so tall.”


I continued to explain that the Devil is always trying to beat us down and make us feel inferior. When we can get ahold of the understanding of who we are in Christ we will see ourselves as giants. Being intimidated and bullied is not about size – it is about how confile1741246209976fident and tall you FEEL. Our reality is only as powerful as we BELIEVE and FEEL. 

I continued “Now say “I am TALL.” She repeated after me. We said this several times. I told her that all day long she was to say “I am tall” and that is was to be said out loud. Even if she said it under her breath it was very important to say it so that she could hear her words being spoken.  After 30 minutes of prayer, discussion and encouragement Brianna now had a new battle plan.

The very next day Brianna called me. I asked her how her day went.

“Well” she replied. “I decided to wear my tallest heels to work. I needed to actually feel tall in the physical and to remind myself that I truly was a tall person. I also decided to put on a professional, tailored outfit. I knew that I needed to come across as in control, confident and tall.”

I was thrilled to hear that she had personalized what we had discussed.

“How did your day go?” I asked.

“Not once did my boss give me a hard time. I felt confident and self-assured. I had a wonderful day.”

It has now been over a year and Brianna has moved on from her former position. Though she has encountered other unpleasant co-workers she has learned that she never need be intimidated or demeaned by anyone. She sees herself in a new light – the light that Christ shines upon her.

Who bullies, intimidates, demeans, ridicules or insults you? Who disrespects you? Follow these 4 steps and you will find yourself  growing in confidence, self-respect, power, strength and might.

1) Speak Power Verses over yourself, out loud, first thing each morning. 

2) Speak 30 Sayings that Will Change Your Life out loud, each morning. 

3) Picture yourself 16 feet tall. Fix the  picture so clearly in your mind that you see others as if you were looking down at ants. Duck your head when coming into room. Truly act as if you had grown overnight and now must accommodate your size.

4) Role play in front of a mirror how you will respond the next time someone treats you inappropriately. For example:

* “Don’t ever speak to me that way again.”
* “Please don’t treat me like a child. I understand what you are saying. I am an intelligent adult.”
* “Don’t yell at me. You need to respect me. I will not allow you to demean me in that way.”* “Stop making fun of me. It is rude and unacceptable!”

These must be said loudly, firmly and with great confidence. Remember, your power level equals your confidence level. You must convince yourself and the bully that you are bigger, stronger and more intelligent than they are.

You must develop your own retorts which would apply to your situation. Saying them out loud is vital. Practicing them throughout the day is very necessary. Then when the situation arises these defense mechanisms just roll off your tongue.

I have worked with many adults, teens and children on using these techniques.  They work. If you commit yourself to practice and diligence and will not give up you will get victory in your situation.

“Dear Lord, give my friend the confidence, power and strength they need to overcome those who are hurting, demeaning and ridiculing them. Let them truly see themselves as giants. Let them see the power you have put inside of them. Give them victory.” In Jesus name we pray. amen.

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