It’s not complicated. King David had an affair with beautiful Bathsheba. These were two consenting adults. Here’s something to think about. Bathsheba’s husband was really committed to his work. So much so that in fact that when David brought Uriah home to sleep with Bathsheba – to make it look like he impregnated Bathsheba – Uriah declined – twice. Yes, this is honorable. Yes, he showed more tact and honor than David. But is there more?
Uriah was a warrior in David’s army. He was very committed to his work. Since David couldn’t get him to go home (due to war protocol) and be sexually active with his wife – he finally had him put on the front battle lines where he was killed.
Was Uriah a workaholic? Was Uriah more committed to honor at work than honor at home? We don’t know. But what we do know is that Bathsheba could have said “No” and she didn’t.
Is it possible that Uriah “Left his back door open” for Bathsheba to have an affair? Is it possible that she was feeling lonely, unappreciated, bored with life and feeling empty? Women have affairs when a husband keeps the back door open by not giving his wife the love, adoration, affection, time and energy that it takes to keep a marriage vibrant and healthy. Work is often the “excuse” of where a man’s energy, time and vitality have gone. It doesn’t take long for a once healthy marriage to dry up and become less than exciting.
What did Bathsheba need? What every woman needs – affection, adoration, affirmation, appreciation and encouragement. That is a lot of giving for one man. It takes a tremendous amount of prayer, thought, time, expense and effort. It is a daily effort. It is an ongoing task. To keep your back door shut it is a never-ending awareness of your wife’s needs. You should daily pray:
“Lord, teach me to love my Wife. I don’t know how. Only you know her needs, desires and dreams. Help me to fulfill her needs that I might keep the back door shut.”
“Husbands keep loving your wives even as Christ loved the church and laid his life down for her.” Eph. 5:25
Perhaps you started out truly loving and adoring your wife, but life and kids and bills and problems have made your relationship dry. You have stopped loving her as you once did. You need God to love your wife through you. You are not smart enough or capable enough to love her – it must be God loving your wife through you.
King David was very handsome, intelligent, suave, debonair, wealthy and talented. He was every woman’s dream. When he seduced Bathsheba he was already married. He knew how to seduce women and what it took to cover it up.
Men, there is a handsome David waiting for your Bathsheba.
Make sure you are keeping the back door shut.