Here are some Questions to ask yourself:
- Do you feel nervous confronting your husband?
- Do you feel scared asking your husband for money?
- Do you ever get intimidated by your husband and his anger?
- Do your children have to walk on eggshells around their dad?
- Is your husband often grumpy and demanding?
- Do you ever wish that you could leave but don’t have the guts to do so?
- Do you “do without ” so that your husband can spend money on himself?
- Do you love your husband but can’t stand his demeanor?
If you answered “yes” to even one of these questions you are being intimidated by your husband.
Women who are intimidated by their husbands have learned to live with the fear, the continual insecurity, the nervousness and feelings of failure. I am going to give you a few basic steps to help you out of the situation that you are in and help you to get back your power.
If you are an intimidated woman it is important to say this out loud. For too long you have hidden your fears, your shame and your low self-esteem. Admitting a problem out loud always gets “light” into a dark place. Right now say out loud “I fear my husband.” Say it several times. There, the truth is out. Now you can begin to do something about it.
If your husband ever uses a loud, intimidating voice towards you or the kids you are being verbally abused. Say that out loud right now, “I am being verbally abused by _________.” There you said that too, it’s important to face facts so that we can correct the problem.
1) Put on the Armor of God daily. This will give you the power to overcome and have victory https://jackieosinski.wordpress.com/category/armor-of-god/page/4/
2) Confess who you are in Christ. This will remind you of how valuable you are https://jackieosinski.wordpress.com/2012/05/01/power-verses-that-will-strengthen-you/
3) Fall in love with yourself on a daily basis. This is critical when you have been beat down https://jackieosinski.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/do-you-really-love-yourself/
4) Understand that this is Spiritual Warfare. Satan is trying to beat you down by using your husband.
5) Your husband is not a mind reader. When you have garnered up your courage and he is in a pleasant mood you need to confront him. Here is an example “John, you know that I love you with all my heart but you intimidate me. When you come home from work and start yelling it makes me and the kids nervous. Also, when you _________, that makes me nervous. I want us to work on this together. Are you willing?”
6) After confronting your husband you need to be ready for any type of response. If he begins to yell or get defensive you need to be able to say “I cannot discuss important things with you when you yell or raise your voice. I want to talk to you but I need you to respond respectfully.”
7) Each time your husband intimidates you repeat the above phrase “I feel intimidated by you. You scare me. I am nervous around you. I will not talk to you when you are mean, defensive or yelling. “
8) If you are persistently confronting him and he continues to be defensive then you must consider the 2-step plan. First you tell him that if he continues to treat you and the children in a disrespectful manner you will begin to move on with your life and he will not be included. This means that you will grow and mature as a woman and as a Christian but he will be left behind until he can make some positive changes.
Next, if after this he is still intimidating you should consider separation for a time. Separation gives you time to heal, time to think and time to be strengthened. This is also a wake up call for a man who is refusing to take you seriously. I have seen numerous times where a separation period has caused a husband to come to his senses and begin to realize that if he continues in his ways he could lose those he loves most.
9) Common sense dictates that if you can get your husband into counseling that would be a safe place to voice your concerns. Many husbands refuse to go to counseling. When that is the case find a strong Christian woman who is willing to be your support team. This is not for the two of you to bash him, but to begin to pray and spiritually warfare over this situation. This is where you can begin to come up with a wise plan to protect yourself and your children, which is usually for him to leave or for you and the kids to find a safe place.
10) I believe that any man who can verbally abuse his wife and kids has the potential to physically abuse her. Pushing you, gripping your wrist, grabbing your arm, demanding sex, digging his hands in your back, throwing things at you, pulling your hair – this is all physical abuse. When this occurs it must be stopped immediately – for the safety of yourself and your children. Contact a solid Christian leader that can guide you and hold your hand during the process of finding safety for you and your children.
11) God has called us to a life of peace. Is your home full of peace? Is it an atmosphere you feel comfortable inviting others to? If not you have a God-given responsibility to address the situation and do all that you can to make changes.
12) Jesus never ignored the sin He addressed it https://jackieosinski.wordpress.com/2014/01/23/dont-ignore-the-sin-address-it/ He has given you the same responsibility.
Dear Lord, I pray for my sister. I ask that you give her the COURAGE to confront her husband. I pray that you show her that ANY type of abuse is wrong and that it goes against your will. You have called us to a life of peace. My sister wants peace but she needs your help. Give her the strength and determination to do what is right to bring about positive change. Give her the courage to call at least one or two people who can counsel her and hold her hand during this difficult time. I ask all this in the precious name of Jesus. amen