Jimmy

file941328721078One of my daughters had a boyfriend when she was in her twenties – his name was Jimmy. He was a sweet, Christian young man, our family really liked him. They didn’t date for very long. She went off to college and he stayed in the local area. Jimmy loved to hang out with our family. He was fun, insightful, talented and just a great guy to be around. I always saw him as my spiritual son. It felt like he was part of our family. Our family knew that we could count on him to help us out in any situation. He watched our farm-house for us when we were on vacation, helped us with small projects and was fun to have around.  

One month led to another and one year led to another. We always stayed in touch with Jimmy. We celebrated birthdays and holidays with him. We got to know his family and welcomed them into our home and heart as well. Jimmy was a good and faithful friend and we always thanked the Lord for his friendship. He helped us to find a new church when we felt spiritually dry. We often prayed together. We drove to church together and would have lunch afterwards. Jimmy was definitely an important part of our family and we loved him.

After a few years of trying to find the right career path Jimmy left for an extended stay in another country. He had plans to marry a Christian girl that he had met who was from South America. When he returned to the states things didn’t turn out as he planned and he broke off the engagement. For various reasons he began to distance himself from our family.

I truly missed Jimmy. I missed having him over for dinner. I missed praying with him. I missed him sharing his life’s journey with us. Things had changed and it seemed no matter what we did they would never be the same.

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The year we stopped talking I had a small Christmas gift for him. I had called him to let him know we’d love to see him and that we had a gift for him. He was glad to hear from me and said he would stop by to pick it up. He never came by. I heard that he has since married and has a daughter.

For 4 years I have kept Jimmy’s Christmas gift in my attic.

I would lay hands on the gift and pray “Lord, bring Jimmy back home. Bring him to his senses. Let him know how much we love him.”

Several times I was asked by my family why I was keeping a wrapped Christmas gift in the attic. I would always explain that I was believing that God was going to bring Jimmy back into our lives. That gift was my step of faith. The gift was not to be opened by anyone except Jimmy. I was going to pray him back. I kept praying. I kept believing.

The other day I was conversing with one of my daughters about old boyfriends. I said I thought it was nice if we all stayed in touch even after they had broken up.

My daughter said “No, that’s not good. That person is no longer part of our family relationship. Why would you keep the guy believing in a fantasy that they are still connected to us? It gives them a false sense of hope.”

At the moment I disagreed. Yet, after a few days I realized my daughter was right. There is a proper time to have a relationship and there is a proper time to let go. It was then that I realized Jimmy was never coming back. He was no longer dating my daughter and he now had his own life. My eyes were opened to the truth. What I thought was God’s will was actually only my own.

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When I had this realization I immediately broke the soul ties between Jimmy and our family. I released him to live his life. I blessed him. I released myself of the expectation of him ever being a part of our family. I felt such a tremendous joy, a great relief, a peace. He has his life to live, we have ours.

I am moving into my future. I no longer am holding onto a past relationship that will never be. This is very freeing. There is great joy in this. I can find happiness in the wonderful memories that we did share and the beautiful times we had together.

The gift in the attic? I will bring it to Goodwill. It will be a blessing to someone.

Is there someone in your life that you have been holding onto but you know will never come back? Is there a relationship in your life that is over but you keep dreaming and hoping it will be restored? Are you clinging to the past? Ask the Lord to show you if it’s time to move on. Let it go. Be at peace. God has a beautiful future for you. 

“Dear Lord, I pray for my friend. Please show him/her if there is someone that they are clinging to that is not going to come back. Help them to let it go. Help them to release the person. We now break any soul ties that would keep the memories and emotions attaching them to this person. Let my friend know that you are now leading them into the future that you have for them – and it is good.”  In Jesus name we pray.”   amen

 

7 thoughts on “Jimmy

  1. In 2011 my now-ex wife decided our marriage was over. She had been cheating and changed into someone else that I no longer recognize. After the pain had subsided and I settled into my single life, I was introduced by a mutual friend to a lady who lived in another state, far away. We texted, talked, chatted on the phone, and decided we had to meet. So, I flew to her state and we met. We spent three days together, deciding that we were in love. I visited her on several other occasions. For a while, the relationship was good. I felt happy and felt that God had blessed me with this woman. The problem was, I had two children with my ex wife. And I refused to move away from them to be with this wonderful woman I had met. Likewise, she had children with her ex and was unable to relocate to where I am. It was an impossible situation. For months, I prayed fervently to God, every day, several times per day. God had brought this woman into my life, so why was this relationship not allowed to work??? Eventually, she called the relationship off, knowing that the impossible situation would never resolve. We were both heartbroken. But that night, I came very close to killing myself, as I was so distraught. I had 30 or 40 pills in my hand when my parents walked into the rent house in which I was living and stopped me. This woman knew my parents number and had asked them to check on me. After that night, I spent the next three days in a mental hospital, crying, distraught, alone. That was in 2012. Since then, I’ve recovered emotionally, but I’m still so angry with God. My marriage failed, despite the months I spent praying, begging, for God to save it. Then I met a wonderful woman whom I could never be with, despite many months of praying, begging. I am so alone now. Sad, angry, hopeless. My faith is utterly shaken. I continue to fantasize about suicide, though I would never do it, now. I know its a one way ticket to hell. So I’m trapped here. Destroyed marriage, relationship dangled infinitely further away from me. I hate myself. I hate being in this body, I hate being who I am. I wish God would kill me since I can’t do it myself.

    • Will, you say you are “trapped.” Have you ever accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior? Read my post How to Get to Heaven http://mountainstreamshealingcenter.com/2011/09/07/how-to-get-to-heaven/ My concern is that Christ is not truly at the center of your life. You see when He become the Lover of Your Soul He is the most important person in the world to you – even above your spouse, your lovers, your children. The Word of God tells us to “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you…” You need to begin to fall in love with God. Put Him first in all that you do. Read all my posts under the God category. God wants you to put Him first above ALL others – then if it’s His will He will bring a spouse into your life – but if it doesn’t happen it only means that God chooses for you to know that He will satisfy you with His divine love. Love your children. Spend as much time with them as possible. These are critical years when they need a loving father around.

      • How am I supposed to make God the center of my life when I am so mad at him? All I can think about are the nights I spent alone and broken, crying myself until I fell asleep from exhaustion, praying, begging on prayer, to make things work or to take the pain away. Nothing ever worked out with the lady in California and the pain is still there. Time is not healing this wound.

      • Will, say for one week that you will praise God no matter what. Don’t go by your feelings. Praise Him for all that happened, even the painful part. The Word tells us to “give thanks in ALL things…” once we begin to do this is opens up the flow of peace, hope, faith and trust. I encourage you to purchase the book online Prison to Praise, it is small, yet life changing. Blessings.

  2. David allow the spirit of God to lead you in your situation because if you trust in the lord with all of your heart and acknowledge him in all your ways he will direct your path. prov.3:5-7. Remember there is a time and a season for everything up under the heaven meaning on earth. ecclesiasties 3:1

    • David, only you can know that answer. When you pray, what is God saying to you? Is there peace in giving up? Does it feel right? Do you have a scriptural right to move on? This is such a serious question that it should be given much time, prayer, fasting and consideration. I am praying you will have wisdom.

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